Music

16 Dec 2009

Music has been a part of my life ever since I can remember. My dad used to wake us up Saturday morning by putting on a Barry Manilow record (when I was 6 I thought it was pretty cool). I had record players when I was little and used to buy singles of songs. I remember buying the Bangles - Manic Monday and playing it over and over again. We used to watch MTV as a family (back when it was fairly clean) and my parents had a large collection of '80s cassette tapes. The first tape I ever spent my own money on was Roxette - Look Sharp. I bought an A-Ha tape soon after and at one point owned 4 of their albums. Around that time my dad discovered new age music (David Lanz & Paul Speer, Desert Vision and Natural States). I absolutely loved it, and it opened up new worlds to me.

I had very little interest in learning to play an instrument when I was young (it seemed more like work than play), but at the age of 26 I started learning to play notes on my own. A few months later my oldest daughter expressed an interest in playing the piano, and I found a teacher for her. When she told me about all the things she was learning in her lessons, I was a little envious and asked her teacher if she would teach me as well. I took piano lessons for two years, then had to stop because work was keeping me too busy and I didn't have time to practice. But I absolutely loved it and continued to learn on my own (it helped when work became less busy and I had more time). I also picked up the guitar on a whim when I was 29 and took lessons for 18 months. Then, somewhere along the way, I decided I would enjoy making a living in the music industry. I experimented with songwriting and purchased some recording and sheet music notation software. I wrote several songs for guitar that not very many people heard, and I recorded two original piano compositions that were difficult but satisfying. I quickly discovered, however, that the technical nature of recording & audio engineering was less than enjoyable, as was the technical nature of arranging music. I could do it, but it wasn't rewarding work. I also took composition lessons at this time and those too ended badly. My Internet-based teacher was a Schoenberg fan, and it really wasn't the kind of instruction I was looking for.

Around this time I began to experience financial problems and needed some extra money. Thinking that teaching music would be enjoyable, I began teaching guitar and piano lessons. The results were mixed - I enjoyed some lessons but not others, and I realized much of it had to do with student musical preferences and general personal compatibility. I really didn't enjoy teaching guitar to kids (or adults) that wanted to learn to play Metallica. It just wasn't my thing. Piano students are less likely to play annoying distorted junk, but my site reading skills limited me as a piano teacher. So, for a time I gave up on professional music as a career, sold some of my recording equipment and looked into other options. Specifically, delivering pizza, which I did for about 6 months. It was tolerable for a while, but quickly became monotonous and I missed spending time with my family.

I then hired a career coach to help me discover my passion and make a living doing something I loved, but by this time I had decided that it would be exceptionally difficult to make a living in the music industry. Nothing we discussed appealed to me in the same way music did, however, although he did have many life-altering insights to offer. But I realized at the end of the process that music truly is my passion–something I want to continue doing even after this life is over. That left me with the option of compartmentalizing my life: work at a job that doesn't fulfill all my needs but paid the bills, and I would spend much of my free time improving my music skills. I've found in this option a happy medium – not obsession, but passion – and a freedom of expression that accepting payment for my musical talent wouldn't allow. I don't know what the future holds, but for now this balance is exactly what I need.