To Struggle Well

" ... in life, the aim is not to conquer but to struggle well." -Pierre de Coubertin

One of the most difficult challenges in my life began on a racquetball court a few years ago when I tore my ACL. I had never felt that kind of pain before, and after knee surgery I found myself experiencing a whole new kind if pain in the form of physical therapy. The muscles around my knee simply refused to contract, and as long as that situation prevailed I knew I would be unable to walk. I remember lying on my living room floor and contracting every muscle in my body in an effort to lift my leg off the ground, but the muscles around my knee wouldn't engage. It was like they were no longer under my control. Bending my knee hurt quite a lot, and one day my physical therapist lifted my leg into the air and let my lower leg begin to fall. The pain was intense, and through gritted teeth I asked him why he was letting my leg fall when he knew it would hurt me. He ignored me and continued to let it fall. To avoid the pain of my leg bending I finally engaged the muscles around my knee. It was excruciating, but within a few more days I was able to walk. A few months after that I hiked an 11,000 foot mountain, and last summer I finished my first 10k race. It turns out I had the strength within me to succeed all along, I just wasn't able to access it until I was under extreme pressure.

Life is a struggle. There will always be challenges, but I believe each of us possesses a reserve of strength that would astound us. A good friend of mine has experienced some disappointments in life, and I once commented about the inner strength he seemed to possess. "I don't feel strong," he told me in reply. I restated my compliment, because I knew what I had seen, and he gave me a more honest answer: "I don't always feel strong, but I think there have been times in my life when I've been able to step up and overcome some difficult challenges." I think we all have a greater ability than we realize to "step up" and make it through the many difficulties life brings.

In "The Haunted Man," a story that is as timeless to me as his popular classic, "A Christmas Carol," Charles Dickens wrote of a man who was given a chance to see what he would have become if he had not experienced pain and loss in his life. The "gift" turns him into a selfish and shallow person, and at the end of the story he willingly takes up his burden of grief again.

Depth of character is not developed in times of ease and comfort. Growth is often accompanied by pain, and it is in the furnace of affliction that we discover our true potential.