I have been blessed with two wonderful
daughters. As they entered their teenage years and I realized how brief my time
with them was, I wanted to give them something that would remind them who they
are and how much I love them. I also wanted to give them advice about some of
the most important decisions and events they would face in their lives, and I
wanted them to have access to this information even if I was deceased. So I
wrote a series of letters over a period of several years. Initially they were
intended only for my daughters, but as the project neared completion I realized
that women of every age and walk of life—even those who didn’t know their
fathers or have particularly good relationships with them—might benefit from
the truths contained in these letters, because every woman is a daughter of her
Heavenly Father who loves her dearly.
From the Moment I
First Saw You
My daughter,
From the moment I first saw you I knew my time with you was limited, but I didn't realize when you were young just how limited it was. When you were born your mother and I happily incorporated you into our lives and were so grateful to be able to hold you in our arms. But diaper changes and midnight feedings and sleepless nights made time seem to pass more slowly than it does now. As you've grown I've realized that change is coming far too fast. Every time I blink you become more beautiful and amaze me with your developing talents and emotional and intellectual maturity. Before long you will be leaving home, and I want to give you something as you go, something in addition to love and memories and learning experiences and promises of wonderful memories yet to come, that you can always remember and carry with you throughout your life. That's why I'm writing these letters.
From the time you were small I've considered it my job to watch over you every day of your life and keep you safe from physical and emotional harm. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be your father and to be a part of your life. Raising a daughter is a privilege and a blessing far beyond anything I could have ever imagined.
Life isn't easy, and at times it can be heartbreaking. God allows you to pass through trials so you can develop patience, understanding and compassion. Such challenges are proof of His great love, though it is often only in hindsight that they can be seen that way. I have been blessed to be here for you through your most difficult trials and through the good times in your life. I have tried to help you in every way I could, and I will continue to do so as long as I am permitted to remain in this world. I can't always prevent bad things from happening to you, but I can give you compassion and comfort and advice and understanding in times of adversity and confusion. My commitment to you is unconditional. No matter where you go, no matter what choices you make, you will always be worthy of my love, protection, and admiration. I will always care for you and do everything in my power to help you on your journey to happiness, success, wisdom and fulfillment.
With love,
Daddy
The Best is Yet to
Come
My daughter,
There may be times in your life when you forget who you really
are. The people who are closest to you and love you most will sometimes treat
you casually and familiarly. They may make fun of you and laugh and joke with
you, and they may occasionally hurt you without realizing it (but usually not intentionally
or out of malice). Human beings have a tendency to take the people they love
for granted. But when you go through challenges that test the strength of those
bonds, you will discover how much you truly mean to your friends and family and
be awed by the deep reservoirs of love they have in their hearts for you.
Those reservoirs are mere puddles when compared to God's love.
Being your father has brought me greater joy than I ever thought
possible. I remember crying the first time I saw you, and it wasn't just
because I was witnessing the miracle of childbirth. It was because I knew you,
because I had missed you, and because it was so wonderful to see you and have
you in my life again. You were special then, and you are special now. You will
always be special. You are my beautiful daughter, and you are God's beautiful
daughter. You are loved by us both simply because you are you, and not because
of anything you do.
There may be times when you will question your purpose in life and
wonder if you will ever do anything of significance. Let me assure you that you
already have. You make the world a better place just by being in it. If you
could see with the eyes of God, or with my eyes, you would understand the
beauty and meaning you bring to those who know you and love you best.
I am proud of you. I am proud to call you my daughter, and I am
proud to call you my friend.
Do not fear the future, for you will be given everything you need
at the time you need it. Do not fear the darkness, for the light you carry
within you is far stronger. Do not fear the unknown, for all things are known
to God and He is your eternal guide. Do not fear isolation, for God will always
be with you.
No matter how old you are, the best years of your life are ahead
of you. No matter how difficult your current experiences may be, there is
always a reason to hope. No matter how lost you may become, you will always be
able to find your way back home. And no matter how far you fall, God's love and
my love will be there to catch you.
Look up.
Smile.
The best is yet to come.
With love,
Daddy
Beauty
My daughter,
You are beautiful. You have always been beautiful, and you will
always be beautiful. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I
thought I'd take a few minutes to explain what I mean when I tell you that you
are beautiful.
There is a worldly definition of beauty that I believe is both
inaccurate and inadequate. I hope you never judge yourself by the arbitrary,
shallow and misguided standards staring at you from supermarket magazine
covers. When I tell you that you are beautiful, this is what I mean: First, you
are physically beautiful. You were created in the image of a loving God, and
when He surveyed His work at the end of creation and pronounced it as
"good," He was talking about you. Your physical beauty will change
with time, but you will never cease to be beautiful to me or to God.
Second, there is the beauty of your heart. You have done many
selfless acts in your life, and you will do many more. You are and will
continue to be a blessing to others. Your love and empathy are reflected in
your countenance. The sacrifices you make throughout your life will only serve
to increase the beauty of your heart. Though you may make mistakes along the
way, though you may at times fall short of being everything you want to be, the
beauty of your heart is and will always be a part of your divine heritage.
Finally, there is the beauty of your spirit. You are truly one of
God's most precious daughters, permanently endowed with His light and power,
and every time I see you I feel the overwhelming love that He has for you. Your
spiritual beauty—the most meaningful beauty anyone can possess—is your most
permanent and endearing attribute. You are and will always be physically and
spiritually beautiful, and the beauty of your heart is so lustrous that I can't
help but love you forever.
I have watched you grow and blossom from the time that you were small,
and when I tell you that you are beautiful, you should believe that what I am
saying is true.
With love,
Daddy
Finding Happiness
My daughter,
Few things are more misunderstood than happiness. If you listen to
the voices around you, they may cause you to feel lost and confused. But if you
look to God and seek to share His light with others, you will find the path to
lasting joy.
Some people believe that happiness is meant only for others, or
that it comes and goes with the whims of fate. But happiness is more a function
of choice than circumstance. Fleeting indeed is the happiness that relies on
external factors, but the happiness that comes from within can be maintained
even on the coldest, darkest, loneliest day. Many people choose to indulge in
sugar-coated delights that quickly turn bitter, but true happiness comes from
determination, steadiness and faith.
Happiness is a hard battle, but it's one worth fighting, and you
will never have to fight it alone. God wants you to have real and lasting joy
in this world and the next. It's the reason He created you.
With love,
Daddy
A Faith-filled
Life
My daughter,
I want to assure you of four great truths about God. First, He is
real. Many deny His existence because they can't see Him, but they're simply
not looking hard enough. God's presence constantly surrounds you, everywhere
you go. You can see Him in a sunset, in the smiling face of a child, and even
in the midst of darkness. Others deny Him because they reason that if God
really existed then the world would be a better place. But that isn't a reason
to stop believing; it's a reason to take action. Instead of waiting for God to
change the world, recognize that He sent YOU here for that very purpose. A
small act of faith can make an enormous difference in someone's life, and light
begets light. As one heart changes, others will change and the world will be
made new.
Second, God loves you and cares about every detail of your life,
the same way you care about everything that happens to the people you truly
love. He knows what is best for you and wants you to be happy, and His still
small voice can guide your actions and decisions. He speaks to everyone, but
not everyone listens. You can hear Him in quiet moments by taking time to pause
and think of Him. He can also speak to you through scriptures and songs and the
inspired words and deeds of others who hear His voice and reflect His light.
Third, God will never abandon you, no matter how far you wander or
how long you are gone. His love is unconditional. You didn't have to do
anything to earn it, and you can't do anything to lose it. He will always
welcome you home with open arms, and the angels will rejoice at your return.
His ways are better than yours, and by surrendering to Him in all things you
will find the kind of peace that can never be taken from you without your
permission.
Fourth, you need God in every moment of your life. Relying on
yourself alone is the worst and most arrogant kind of folly. He is not just
your fair-weather friend, to be trusted and worshiped only when things are going
well. Nor is He your foul-weather friend, to be turned to only when you are in
need of rescue and abandoned or ignored as soon as the immediate danger has
passed. He is your eternal friend, He is your biggest fan, He always has time
for you, and you will always be happier when you make time for Him.
Faith—real faith—is worth fighting for. Accept no substitutes.
With love,
Daddy
The Power of Prayer
My daughter,
As soon as you were able to speak, your mother and I taught you
how to pray. For years I knelt at your bedside each night as you communed with
God, and I still remember those nights with fondness. It was always such a
comfort to hear you talk with your Creator.
Prayer is a way to align your will with God's and to better
understand His plan for you. It gives you an opportunity to place your life and
decisions in His capable hands. The greatest gift He has given you is the
ability to choose for yourself, and when you choose to come to Him in humble
prayer it will strengthen your faith in His loving care.
Prayer is both an act of expression and a gateway to communion.
There is as much value in listening as in speaking, and a heartfelt prayer will
always be answered with loving tenderness. God knows what you need before you
ask Him. But when you pray, you give Him permission to intervene in your life
and to send down power from heaven to comfort and guide and bless and protect
you.
There will be times in your life, perhaps, when you will pray only
out of a sense of duty or habit. There will be other times when you will use
prayer as a crutch for your weary soul to rest upon. And there will be times
when you won't feel like praying at all. But when you pray in faith, no matter
how you are feeling, it will help you turn your heart back to God and allow Him
to gently and lovingly cover you with power. As you pray you will hear the
quiet whispers of your Heavenly Father's voice while He answers you in the way
that He feels is best. You can trust in His wisdom completely.
There are prayers of sorrow, prayers of regret, and prayers of
gratitude and hope. You can be certain that your Father in Heaven hears them
all and will bless you for your faithfulness.
With love,
Daddy
Walking Through
Fire
My daughter,
There may be times when you fear the difficulties and challenges
the future might bring, and I want to reassure you that God will carry you
through your trials in the future as He has in the past. Remember that a future
filled with infinite possibilities for sorrow and difficulty is also filled
with infinite possibilities for joy and progress. When you give God your fears,
insecurities and worries, He will reward you with faith and confidence.
At times you may find yourself praying to avoid trials, and at
times those prayers will be answered. At times you may find yourself praying
for a quick end to trials, and at times those prayers will be answered, too.
But sometimes your prayers will not be answered in the way that you expect, and
your faith will grow as a result.
Faith depends more on the convictions of the heart than on the
events of life. When you put your trust in an unchangeable omnipotent being who
loves you more than you can possibly comprehend, you can walk through fire and
come out on the other side unshaken.
You will always matter to God. Though He may not give you what you
want, He will always give you what you need.
With love,
Daddy
Saying Goodbye
My daughter,
The death of a loved one is one of the greatest trials anyone can experience in this world. When such a loss occurs, you may find yourself focusing entirely on what you will be living without. But eventually the sun will rise on your grief, and you will be grateful for the time you were privileged to spend with that person, no matter how brief.
Without love, your greatest losses would be mere inconveniences. But without love, you would cease to be you. It is better to love and to experience grief than to live without love.
It is natural to feel regret when losing a loved one, and it's normal to wonder if you could have said or done more to express the feelings you will always have in your heart for that person. But do not dwell on the words "if only." Your continuing love pierces the veil separating this world from the next. Your loved ones who have moved on to the next stage in their eternal development know how you feel about them, and their love for you remains intact.
Death is not the end. It is simply a new beginning, and someday the two of you will be reunited. Everything that has been taken from you will be restored a hundred fold and more in the life to come.
Do not blame God for your losses, for His wisdom is perfect. Rather, be grateful to Him for giving you someone so worth loving in the first place, and know that once a person becomes a part of you, you can never really be without that person again.
With love,
Daddy
Love
My daughter,
The word "love" can mean many things, and what some call
love isn't really love at all. But to me it means only one thing: an
unconditional desire to do everything in one's power to bring about the
happiness and well-being of another person. I have always felt this kind of
love for you, and I always will.
Without friendship and understanding, romance cannot satisfy for
long. When the passion cools, as it inevitably will, the embers that remain
must be bright enough to endure the fiery trials of everyday life. This is
essential, because real love is the greatest human need. Without food and water
the body may die, but without love the soul withers.
Love by its very nature can only be given, never taken. Your
capacity for love is infinite, and if you listen to your heart you will feel a
desire to perform acts of kindness that will ripple forever in eternity. This
is the purpose for which God, who is the source of all love, created you. When
you are filled with compassion for others, you are becoming what He wants you
to become.
In the midst of the star-studded heavens there is a polar star
around which all others appear to revolve. Fixed and unchanging, it is a beacon
in the night, an anchor in an ocean of chaos, a source of strength for the
weary traveler and a guiding light for the wayward soul. It is the North Star,
and it is a metaphor for love.
Love is the joy for which all souls long, the healing balm without
which so many would be forever lost. It is the starving man giving his last
piece of bread to one in greater need, the mother comforting her infant son. It
is the innocent man laying down his life for his friends, the woman reaching
out with compassion to help a lost traveler find his way home, the husband and
wife reconciling their many differences. It is the only hope for peace in this
world, the only salve for a broken heart.
To choose to live without love—for it is always a choice—and find
it again is to return home, to once again feel the rain falling on the
drought-hardened soil, to finally satisfy a burning thirst.
Life is patterned after the heavens: darkness and difficulty
interspersed with the ever-present glowing lights of joy, at the center of
which is a being whose name is Love. When every day is a struggle, when the
world is at its bleakest, Love offers the strength and hope to press forward,
to be guided by the stars with every step we take, until the darkness is only a
memory and the dawn of eternity begins.
With love,
Daddy
