Finding Peace

Sometimes in life we find ourselves struggling to deal with circumstances that are beyond our control. The death of loved ones or other serious losses can sometimes leave us bitter and resentful toward God. I commend those who have experienced the depths of sorrow and managed to emerge feeling closer to God. But for those who may find themselves feeling angry or unloved or unfairly treated after such a loss, there is a path to peace. Whether you're suffering from a recent wound or something that happened in the distant past, whether the pain is still sharp or has turned into a dull ache, know that God is still there for you, He still loves you, and His arms are eternally open for you.

In writing this I am thinking of a few people in particular. I'm thinking of a friend who lost her mother unexpectedly to cancer and hasn't attended church since that event occurred four years ago. I'm also thinking of an acquaintance whose child was hit by a car and killed many years ago, and one of her other children refused to believe that God could allow such a thing to happen.

Finally, I'm thinking of myself. Many years ago I experienced a significant loss, and while I believed I had accepted it and found serenity, I've unknowingly been harboring resentment. I didn't even realize it until yesterday, when I read something in the book "The Walk" by Richard Paul Evans. It's a work of fiction written from a first-person perspective. The main character lost his wife and was talking with a friend about his pain:

"Do you believe in God?"

"There's a question," I said.

"Does it have an answer?"

"Let's just say I'm much too angry at Him not to."

"You blame God for what happened to you?"

"Maybe. Probably."

She frowned, and I could tell that what I said had bothered her. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't. I just wonder why it is that we blame God for everything except the good. Did you blame Him for giving her to you in the first place? How many people go their whole lives and never get to experience that kind of love? You know, she's not really gone. She's still a part of you. What part of you is your choice. She can be a spring of gratitude and joy, or she can be a fountain of bitterness and pain. It is entirely up to you."

When I read those words I realized that I've been blaming God for my loss, when He was the one who gave me someone worth loving in the first place. It hurt to lose a friend, but it only hurt because God gave me a friend in the first place. How can I be angry when He simply took what He gave me in the first place?

Now I have a choice to make. I can continue to waste my energy on regret, anger and mourning, or I can rejoice in the blessings I once had and the memories that remain. I can choose to accept the past, to live in the present and to hope for a better future--a future free from bitterness. I can choose to make my peace with God.