Songs

This is the song I wrote (on piano) and performed for my sister and her husband's wedding in 2008:

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I don't know where this road will lead to
or what I will have to go through.
There are times when I want to say
I just can't make it through one more day.
But I know one thing is true
that I only want to be with you.
So no matter what may come
I will just hang on.

We will walk through the pouring rain
until we see the sun again.
We will face our greatest fears
and dry each other's falling tears.
And no matter what may come
forever we'll hang on.

Take my heart and take my soul,
take my life and don't let go.
Take my hand so I can see
the gift that God has given me.
As I wake each day with you
I'll know that dreams do come true.

Hang on.
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I also wrote a song for each of my children and played it for them on their birthdays one year. This is the song I wrote for my oldest:

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The day you came brought snow from heaven
your smiling face melts my heart still
Some may forsake you and forget you
yet be assured I never will
No matter where this cold world leaves you
No matter how alone you feel
There is a place that you can come to
There is a place where you can heal

I'll walk with you, I'll see you through
and when you fall I'll carry you
Through endless night I'll be your light
When things go wrong I'll set them right
'cause your my child

In dark and starless skies I'll guide you
through mountains steep and capped with snow
When you are hungry I will feed you
And when you're journey's through
you'll know

I walked with you, I saw you through
and when you fell I carried you
Through endless night I was your light
When things went wrong I set them right
'cause your my child

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Here is my youngest daughter's song:

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There's a girl who melts my heart
she's kind and sweet and she is smart
Every day I see her grow
and through the years I've come to know ...

She finds her joy in life's sweet simple things
She stands strong through the struggles that it brings
She loves to run and jump and play
I hope she'll always be that way

Her smiling face, her warm embrace
her laugh so bright, her kiss goodnight
Her endless curiosity

The way she sees with clarity
and tells me just what's on her mind
I wish the whole world could know her
the way I do

Her teddy bear, her light blond hair
Her freckled nose, her cheeks turned rose
She'll always be my little girl
A ray of sunshine in my world

I wish the whole world could know her
the way I do
'cause then the whole world would love her
the way I do

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And my son's song

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Today is the first day of the rest of your life
So make the most of the time that is yours
The world is waiting to see what you'll be
A mouse, or a lion that roars

There is a need for men of courage
who stand for what is true
and who kneel to pray for wisdom
there is a need for a man like you

Because you've got what it takes
to live a life of faith
You've got power and strength inside
There are battles to fight
and your certain to win
if you let Jesus be your guide
In everything you go through
there's someone who believes in you

You've started a journey and the mountains are steep
So many obstacles stand in your way
Wide rivers are raging and clouds block your view
Have faith! You will carry the day

Don't let fear and doubt deceive you
the way will soon be shown
For an unseen hand will lead you
along the path that is yours alone

May your light shine in dark places
and be reflected in the faces
of people you've helped along the way
May your joy in life increase
May you find lasting peace
May you always know the right words to say

In everything you go through
there's someone who believes in you.

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Gall Bladder Surgery

In 2003 my wife began experiencing extremely painful stomach aches. We didn't know what was causing them at first, but after a while she began to associate the stomach aches with eating fat, and so she went on a no-fat diet. I think she couldn't eat fat for a few weeks; one time she tried to eat a piece of bread with only one gram of fat and it gave her a stomach ache. I remember her diet consisting of rice cakes, white rice and fat free fudgecicles (she was never a big fan of rice, but now she likes it even less). I think she lost 15 or 20 pounds. I was eating a vegetarian diet at the time, and as a show of solidarity I decided to join her in the no fat diet. But empathy apparently wasn't a good enough reason to stick to it, because after a week or two I found myself so starved for fat that I grabbed a spoon and started eating store-bought cookie dough right out of the package. It wasn't one of my best moments :)

The reason Gail couldn't eat fat was because she had a diseased gall bladder. She was scheduled for surgery and I asked my mom to watch the kids so I could go with her. It was a laparoscopic surgery, meaning that it was done with small incisions and surgical cameras instead of a large incision, and her gall bladder was removed through her belly button. When my grandmother had her gall bladder removed years ago she had a large incision and had to be in bed for 6 weeks while she recovered, so it was good that my wife didn't have to go through that.

I remember pacing nervously in the waiting room during the surgery and praying that everything would go well. I tried to read, but it was hard to focus. The surgery took a little over an hour, and when they brought her to her hospital room I was waiting for her. She was in more pain than I've ever seen her in before; in fact, I've never seen anyone in that kind of pain. I remember her grabbing my hand and almost breaking it because she was hurting so badly. They injected morphine into her IV and she started feeling better almost immediately.

During the whole experience, from start to finish, I felt quite close to Gail. I have always perceived her as a very independent person, and since I am someone who enjoys helping people with their problems I've sometimes felt like she doesn't need me very much. But when she was going through that ordeal with her gall bladder the need was clear and I felt like I could finally step in and make a real difference for her. So I tried to be there every step of the way, from the no-fat diet and initial doctor visits to the surgery and her subsequent recovery. In a very unexpected way, my wife's gall bladder troubles helped our marriage become stronger.

My Honeymoon

We were married on June 26, 1996 in the Salt Lake Temple in the morning, I think around 9:00 a.m. I remember having to wake up really early to get ready and be there on time. I got dressed and remember my mom fussing with my temple clothes after I walked out of the locker room (I wasn't worried about how I looked, I was just thinking about what I was about to do). My bride and I talked with the temple sealer for a few minutes, then waited in the celestial room while friends and family gathered in the sealing room. We knelt across the altar from each other, and I remember looking into the mirrors of eternity and then into her eyes. And I remember kissing her over the altar. After that we went outside and had some pictures taken, then changed and went to the lion house for our wedding luncheon. My new wife didn't like the ham (it was honey ham), but I loved it. My grandparents paid for it as a wedding gift to us. Then we left for our honeymoon.

The only way to really describe my honeymoon is to say that it was the best of times and it was the worst of times. We drove to Manti (about a two and a half hour drive from Salt Lake) and stayed at a bed and breakfast. While we were driving there was a rainstorm, and as we came within sight of the Manti temple the sun came out and we saw a rainbow. Everything was green in the valley – it felt like we were in Ireland (or at least somewhere a lot more exotic than Central Utah). Our room at the Yardley Inn was beautiful, it was called “Moonlight and Roses” and had a canopy bed, jetted tub, wood floors and a skylight. There was a stereo with a CD of the music from the movie "Somewhere in Time." They made dinner for us. I can't remember what the main course was, but I remember green beans with almonds and pistachio pie. My wife and I were really tired at that point – it had been a long day – and I think we were about to fall asleep face down in our food. We just spent one night there. We ate breakfast in the dining room downstairs with a few other couples the next morning, then packed up and left.

We went back to our house in Mapleton and spent two or three days there. I was off work and we didn't really have a lot of cares at that point. Then we flew to Michigan. My wife's ticket was free, paid for by the attorneys for her friend Hans who was on trial for murder (his uncle and some buddies had beat him up quite badly one day and a few days later he came back with a gun and killed his uncle). My wife had been asked to testify on his behalf. We stayed with her parents for most of the time we were in Michigan (to save money). I met Hans for the first time the day she testified. She was only on the stand for a few minutes. The prosecuting attorney objected several times to her being there at all and said that because she hadn't spent a lot of time with Hans in recent years that she wasn't a very reliable character witness. It was sad, because she was hoping to be able to do more for Hans and he ended up getting the maximum penalty the law allowed. He was convicted of second degree murder.

At some point after the trial, probably a day or two afterward, we rented a car and drove to Mackinac Island. She showed me around and then we stayed at the Iroquois hotel on the beach. Everything about Mackinac Island is beautiful except for the prices :) The next morning we had a huge fight and she ended up sitting outside on the beach while I was sitting in the hotel room. I wasn't at my best because I was getting sick, although I didn't know it quite yet. But I am always pretty grouchy when I am sick. We drove back to her parents' house later that day and I woke up the next morning feeling quite ill. I couldn't keep food or water down and had alternating fever and chills. I spent a few days doing pretty much nothing except playing Donkey Kong 2, but when it came time for our flight home there was no way I was going to be able to make it. My mother-in-law called the missionaries and they gave me a blessing while I was lying on the floor shivering (even though I was wrapped in a blanket). Immediately after they gave me the blessing they said, “go to a doctor.” So I did … and found out I had mono and was severely dehydrated. The doctor gave me two pints of saline solution and I immediately felt better. We barely caught our flight home, and I lived on Ensure for the next couple of weeks. It took me a few months to regain my full strength.

In 2003 my wife and I went back to Manti and had a wonderful trip. I considered it a second honeymoon, and it was much better than the first. No fights, no mono, no murder trials. Just a nice stay at the Yardley Inn, and we stayed up most of the night talking (my wife remembers it being a very bonding experience). We also saw the Manti Pageant while we were there, but the best part about that trip wasn't the scenery or the entertainment, I was just glad to be with my sweetheart. We were so close and connected on that trip, I will never forget it. It's what our first honeymoon should have been, but wasn't. Thank goodness for second chances! :)

Prayer for a Lost Teddy Bear

When my youngest daughter was small she slept in the same bed with mom and dad. But she liked to thrash around a lot in her sleep, so one day after I woke up seeing stars and opened my eyes to see my daughters feet (that had just kicked me) next to my face, my wife and I came up with a plan to help her learn to sleep in her own room. I gave her a teddy bear named Sylvester that I had when I was a kid and told her if she slept with it then she wouldn't have bad dreams. I know I'm a horrible person for saying that to her, but I was desperate! And I paid for it a couple of times. The problem with having a single object that can help a child sleep is that when the object is gone (and this particular one was irreplaceable), the situation can become critical quite quickly.

One time we were traveling and we left Sylvester in the hotel room. We were several hours away when we realized our mistake, and we had to call the hotel and pay for the teddy bear to be overnighted to our current location. Another time we were at home and couldn't find Sylvester anywhere. We tore my daughter's room apart with no results. Finally my youngest daughter suggested that we should say a prayer. She said it, and as soon as she was done praying she opened her eyes and immediately said "look in the laundry basket." So we did, and found the teddy bear. Even though what she had prayed for might have seemed like a small thing, it was a big deal to her and God heard her innocent prayer and cared enough to gave her the answer she needed.

Why I Believe

I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, also known as the LDS church or the Mormon church. My parents took me to church with them when I was a small child and I was baptized at the age of 8, but my conversion to the church was something that took place over a number of years (and it is still an ongoing process). There have been times in my life when I have been absolutely and unequivocally committed to the church and its teachings, and there have been times when I've simply gone through the motions but my heart has been elsewhere. In recent years I have found myself increasingly committed to the LDS church and its teachings, and increasingly grateful for its positive influence in my life.

To those who may be unfamiliar with the LDS church and its teachings, Mormons probably seem more than a little strange. We don't drink alcohol, we serve in church positions without pay (even the leaders of congregations volunteer their time), we don't have sex before marriage, we donate 10% of our income in tithing, and we build beautiful temples that only worthy members of our church of a certain age are allowed to enter. We believe in and regularly study the Bible, but we also believe in and regularly study a book of scripture known as the Book of Mormon. Because I was raised in Utah and brought up as a Mormon these things seem as normal to me as breathing air, but I have learned through conversations with others how strange some of our ideas sound to those who come from different backgrounds.

As you can imagine, being a member of a church with so many rules isn't always easy. I think members of other churches look at us sometimes and think, "Why do you make it so hard on yourselves? Just believe in God and believe that Christ has saved you; that's all that really matters." But Mormon beliefs about grace are different from those of other churches. We believe that Christ has saved us, that he died to free us from the bondage of sin and that it is only through him that we can hope to enter the gates of heaven. But we also believe that Christ expects us to do our part: to repent when we make mistakes, to treat others the way we would want to be treated, to keep the commandments and serve those around us. We believe that the good things we do qualify us for blessings in this life and the next. And we believe that Christ's grace is a very real power that can give us the ability to accomplish and become more than we could ever become on our own. We also believe that the Holy Ghost is a very real spirit being who influences our lives and speaks to us in quiet whispers, guiding our steps and strengthening our faith and helping us reach out to others with love.

Today, December 23, is the anniversary of the birth of the Prophet Joseph Smith, the founder of our church. We do not worship him, but we honor and respect him. He was born in 1805 and in 1820 was praying in a grove of trees when he saw a vision of God the Father and his son Jesus Christ. His intent in praying was to inquire which of the many churches was truly the church that Christ had established on the earth during his mortal ministry, and the answer he received was that Christ's church as it had been originally established was no longer found upon the earth. Joseph Smith was told about some gold plates that were buried in a hillside near his home that contained a record of the ancient inhabitants of the American continent, and through the power of God he translated the record into English and in 1830 it was published under the title "The Book or Mormon." I have read this book a number of times, and each time I read it I am strengthened by its doctrine and its stories of faith and miracles. I love the Book or Mormon and although it might seem like a bit of a difficult read at first because of its archaic words such as "thee" and "thou," it contains the fullness of the gospel of Jesus Christ and as Joseph Smith himself said, "... a [person can] get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."

I am not blind to the criticism the Mormon church regularly receives, but neither am I shaken by it. Why do I believe? Because I've tried living by the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I've tried living my own way, and it is abundantly clear that my life is better, my relationships are stronger, and my heart is filled with more joy when I am keeping the commandments than when I am not. I don't claim to speak for the church, and what I have said here is my own opinion and does not necessarily represent official doctrine. But if you are interested in learning more about the church and its teachings, you can start by visiting mormon.org. If you like what you see and want to know more, contact the church and ask for a visit from the Mormon missionaries: young men and women who have chosen to dedicate a period of their lives to sharing the good news of the gospel with all who will hear their message. If you listen to their words and do what they ask you to do, your life will change for the better.

Becoming a True Man

After writing and publishing “To My Daughter, With Love” to offer my daughters guidance and direction and love and support as they began their adult lives, I decided to engage in a similar project for my son. The definition of masculinity is becoming increasingly skewed by mainstream society. Machismo is often mistaken for manhood, and fatherhood is persistently mocked in the public arena. Yet the need for good men and for loving, strong, protective and involved fathers has never been greater. I hope this book will touch the heart of every boy or man who reads it and nurture within him a desire to become a true man.

What Is a True Man?

My son,

When I think about what it means to be a true man, there are two images that come to mind. The first is a heavily-muscled fighting machine, a man of few words who laughs in the face of pain, fears nothing and needs no one. The second is, in my mind, both more desirable and more attainable. It is the image of a man who cares deeply for the welfare of others and spends much of his time and energy serving the ones he loves. He is not afraid to do hard things, nor is he afraid to express his emotions: to cry and laugh and love and act with courage even when he is afraid. He knows his weaknesses and readily admits that there is much he has yet to learn. His hands are both strong enough and gentle enough to protect the ones he loves. He never harms others except in self-defense or in the defense of another. He champions freedom and can be trusted with authority. He treats everyone fairly and respectfully as he works steadily to improve himself and the world around him. He keeps his word, thinks of others more often than he thinks of himself, and recognizes the need for divine guidance in his life. This is the kind of man I am striving to become, and the kind of man I hope you will be.

Love always,
Dad 

A True Man Respects Women and Children

My son,

A man never sinks lower than when he is mistreating a woman or a child.

A true man loves children and respects his mother, his sisters, female classmates and co-workers and friends and every woman he meets of any age. He controls his anger and never threatens, intimidates or strikes a child or a member of the opposite sex. He does not see women as objects or conquests. He does not engage in offensive “locker-room talk” and is not emotionally or physically promiscuous.

When I was in elementary school there was a girl to whom I was attracted and with whom I had an intellectual rivalry of sorts. One day she finished a math test faster than me, and in frustration I grabbed her paper and wrote, “You pig!” in purple pen. I will never forget the hurt look on her face when she read those words, and since that day I have done everything in my power to bring joy to the women around me instead of pain.

In a romantic relationship a true man is giving and honest and committed and gentle. He actively works to ensure the happiness of his partner and treats her with deference in public and private. He is faithful to her, protects her honor and participates in an equal partnership with her. He always speaks kindly to her and about her and gives her the freedom and support she needs to achieve her full potential.

When I was old enough to start dating I invited a girl to attend a church meeting with me. At the end of the meeting I escorted her to my car and opened the passenger door for her. An older man who was passing by complimented me on being a gentleman and said he hoped I would always endeavor to treat women with that kind of respect. I have tried to follow the advice he gave me, and I hope you will do the same.

Love always,
Dad

A True Man Protects the Innocent

My son,

A true man protects the innocent. He does not hurt others physically or emotionally, especially those who are too weak to defend themselves. Instead he uses his strength to keep others from being harmed, and he isn't afraid to ask for help when his own strength is inadequate for the task at hand.

When I was very young I was one of the smaller kids in my age group at school, which meant I was a target for bullies. As I began to grow there was a short period of time when I was bigger and stronger than most of the other kids, and instead of using my strength for better purposes I briefly became a bully myself. It is truly one of my greatest regrets, and if not for a small act of kindness that changed the course of my life I might have continued hurting others. When I was 14 years old I went camping with my Boy Scout troop. Our camp site was at the top of a steep hill, and every day two boys were assigned to pick up food at the camp's main kitchen, which was located at the bottom of the hill. It was a long and arduous walk, so at lunchtime the day my friend and I were assigned this duty we decided to take a shortcut through another camp. The troop leader, who had probably dealt with plenty of unwanted people taking shortcuts through his camp that week, asked us to please go around. We grudgingly obeyed, but made plans to dump out their coolers in the middle of the night. At dinnertime as we were coming back from the kitchen, dutifully taking the long way around, the troop leader saw us and came over to thank us for not walking through his camp. Then he gave us each a candy bar. Standing there with that candy bar in my hand I realized that there was a better way to live. That night, instead of sabotaging their camp, my friend and I talked about the merits of kindness.

Though I haven't always been as kind to others as I would like to be, I have never forgotten the lesson I learned from a stranger that day and have built my life around the idea that simple acts of kindness can have profound and permanent positive impacts on the human souls in our love-starved world.

Love always,
Dad

A True Man Serves Others

My son,

A true man recognizes that life is not just for living, but also for giving. He is aware of the needs of those around him and willingly sacrifices his time and material means for their benefit. He provides for his family and works to ensure the well-being of everyone within his ever-expanding circle of influence.

Early in my career I experienced a frustrating setback. I had been working for a company that was sold, and the new management team didn't value my skills or contribution. Feeling that I had failed, I chose to pursue another opportunity. As I was cleaning out my office on my last day of employment I found a mission statement that I had written prior to taking the job. It simply said, “I want to make a positive difference in the lives of others.” Tears filled my eyes as I realized that I had accomplished exactly what I set out to accomplish. I had acted with integrity. I had created an environment where people felt comfortable speaking openly, and where they felt appreciated. I had built a team that shared a strong sense of purpose, camaraderie and mutual respect. In the end, what mattered most was the people I was able to influence for good.

A true man is always serving others: in his work, in his home life, in his community, and in his leisure time. He does not seek recognition and praise, but quietly works to change lives and hearts. Throughout your life you will have many opportunities to make a positive difference for others. As you continually give with no thought of reward you will experience a sense of satisfaction and wholeness that can be found in no other way. Every small act of service makes someone's world better, and since we're all serving a life sentence on this planet we might as well make it a better experience for ourselves and others by ceaselessly serving selflessly.

Love always,
Dad

A True Man Champions Freedom

My son,

A true man recognizes that all human beings are free to think and act for themselves. He never uses force or manipulation to coerce others; rather, he endeavors to help them understand the consequences of their actions and encourages them to use their freedom wisely. While he may not always agree with the choices that others make, he actively defends their right to make them.

As you have matured and demonstrated that you can be trusted with increased freedom, I have allowed you to make more and more of your own choices. But with this freedom comes increased responsibility. You are free to choose your own path in life, but you will find that in the long run you cannot control the positive or negative consequences of your decisions. Learn from the mistakes of others, learn from your own mistakes when you make them, and seek throughout your life to obtain the benefits that only positive choices can bring.

Love always,
Dad

A True Man Seeks Wisdom

My son,

A true man is a lifelong learner. He obtains as much formal education as he can and doesn't stop learning when he leaves the classroom. His goal is to continually acquire new knowledge and share it with others.

When I was newly married I spent more time than I would like to admit playing video games. After staying up late one too many times and barely making it through my workday, I realized that if I spent as much time studying as I did playing video games I could easily earn a college degree. So I set the games aside and enrolled in a local school. When I graduated a new world of opportunity opened up to me, and my thirst for knowledge continued to increase. I devoured every book I could get my hands on, learned to play piano, looked for opportunities to progress in my career and began teaching in a variety of settings.

As you make lifelong learning a part of who you are, you will find the strength to overcome obstacles and your ability to help others and make the world a better place will be significantly expanded.

Love always,
Dad

A True Man Walks with God

My son,

A true man acknowledges the existence of a higher power and seeks to be guided by the inner voice that God has placed within him. By listening to that voice you will be able to find the path that leads to happiness.

One night while you were still young I was driving home from work and began to feel overwhelmed by the immense weight of my accumulated shame, regret and guilt. With tears streaming down my face I prayed to God and told Him that if this pain was the result of trying to live life my own way then I didn't want to do it my way anymore. That night I surrendered my heart to God and allowed Him to direct my footsteps. In time He took my burdens and gave me a new heart. I promise that as you seek to understand the ways of God and to build a relationship with Him, you will discover His plan for your life and be given the strength to faithfully overcome every difficulty you encounter.

I'm proud of you. I have always loved you and I always will. I know you have what it takes to become and remain a true man, and I am honored to call you my son.

Love always,
Dad

To My Daughter, With Love

I have been blessed with two wonderful daughters. As they entered their teenage years and I realized how brief my time with them was, I wanted to give them something that would remind them who they are and how much I love them. I also wanted to give them advice about some of the most important decisions and events they would face in their lives, and I wanted them to have access to this information even if I was deceased. So I wrote a series of letters over a period of several years. Initially they were intended only for my daughters, but as the project neared completion I realized that women of every age and walk of life—even those who didn’t know their fathers or have particularly good relationships with them—might benefit from the truths contained in these letters, because every woman is a daughter of her Heavenly Father who loves her dearly.

From the Moment I First Saw You

My daughter,

From the moment I first saw you I knew my time with you was limited, but I didn't realize when you were young just how limited it was. When you were born your mother and I happily incorporated you into our lives and were so grateful to be able to hold you in our arms. But diaper changes and midnight feedings and sleepless nights made time seem to pass more slowly than it does now. As you've grown I've realized that change is coming far too fast. Every time I blink you become more beautiful and amaze me with your developing talents and emotional and intellectual maturity. Before long you will be leaving home, and I want to give you something as you go, something in addition to love and memories and learning experiences and promises of wonderful memories yet to come, that you can always remember and carry with you throughout your life. That's why I'm writing these letters.

From the time you were small I've considered it my job to watch over you every day of your life and keep you safe from physical and emotional harm. I'm grateful to have the opportunity to be your father and to be a part of your life. Raising a daughter is a privilege and a blessing far beyond anything I could have ever imagined. 

Life isn't easy, and at times it can be heartbreaking. God allows you to pass through trials so you can develop patience, understanding and compassion. Such challenges are proof of His great love, though it is often only in hindsight that they can be seen that way. I have been blessed to be here for you through your most difficult trials and through the good times in your life. I have tried to help you in every way I could, and I will continue to do so as long as I am permitted to remain in this world. I can't always prevent bad things from happening to you, but I can give you compassion and comfort and advice and understanding in times of adversity and confusion. My commitment to you is unconditional. No matter where you go, no matter what choices you make, you will always be worthy of my love, protection, and admiration. I will always care for you and do everything in my power to help you on your journey to happiness, success, wisdom and fulfillment.

With love, 

Daddy

The Best is Yet to Come

My daughter,

There may be times in your life when you forget who you really are. The people who are closest to you and love you most will sometimes treat you casually and familiarly. They may make fun of you and laugh and joke with you, and they may occasionally hurt you without realizing it (but usually not intentionally or out of malice). Human beings have a tendency to take the people they love for granted. But when you go through challenges that test the strength of those bonds, you will discover how much you truly mean to your friends and family and be awed by the deep reservoirs of love they have in their hearts for you.

Those reservoirs are mere puddles when compared to God's love.

Being your father has brought me greater joy than I ever thought possible. I remember crying the first time I saw you, and it wasn't just because I was witnessing the miracle of childbirth. It was because I knew you, because I had missed you, and because it was so wonderful to see you and have you in my life again. You were special then, and you are special now. You will always be special. You are my beautiful daughter, and you are God's beautiful daughter. You are loved by us both simply because you are you, and not because of anything you do.

There may be times when you will question your purpose in life and wonder if you will ever do anything of significance. Let me assure you that you already have. You make the world a better place just by being in it. If you could see with the eyes of God, or with my eyes, you would understand the beauty and meaning you bring to those who know you and love you best.

I am proud of you. I am proud to call you my daughter, and I am proud to call you my friend.

Do not fear the future, for you will be given everything you need at the time you need it. Do not fear the darkness, for the light you carry within you is far stronger. Do not fear the unknown, for all things are known to God and He is your eternal guide. Do not fear isolation, for God will always be with you.

No matter how old you are, the best years of your life are ahead of you. No matter how difficult your current experiences may be, there is always a reason to hope. No matter how lost you may become, you will always be able to find your way back home. And no matter how far you fall, God's love and my love will be there to catch you.

Look up.

Smile.

The best is yet to come.

With love,

Daddy

Beauty

My daughter,

You are beautiful. You have always been beautiful, and you will always be beautiful. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so I thought I'd take a few minutes to explain what I mean when I tell you that you are beautiful.

There is a worldly definition of beauty that I believe is both inaccurate and inadequate. I hope you never judge yourself by the arbitrary, shallow and misguided standards staring at you from supermarket magazine covers. When I tell you that you are beautiful, this is what I mean: First, you are physically beautiful. You were created in the image of a loving God, and when He surveyed His work at the end of creation and pronounced it as "good," He was talking about you. Your physical beauty will change with time, but you will never cease to be beautiful to me or to God.

Second, there is the beauty of your heart. You have done many selfless acts in your life, and you will do many more. You are and will continue to be a blessing to others. Your love and empathy are reflected in your countenance. The sacrifices you make throughout your life will only serve to increase the beauty of your heart. Though you may make mistakes along the way, though you may at times fall short of being everything you want to be, the beauty of your heart is and will always be a part of your divine heritage.

Finally, there is the beauty of your spirit. You are truly one of God's most precious daughters, permanently endowed with His light and power, and every time I see you I feel the overwhelming love that He has for you. Your spiritual beauty—the most meaningful beauty anyone can possess—is your most permanent and endearing attribute. You are and will always be physically and spiritually beautiful, and the beauty of your heart is so lustrous that I can't help but love you forever.

I have watched you grow and blossom from the time that you were small, and when I tell you that you are beautiful, you should believe that what I am saying is true.

With love,

Daddy

Finding Happiness

My daughter,

Few things are more misunderstood than happiness. If you listen to the voices around you, they may cause you to feel lost and confused. But if you look to God and seek to share His light with others, you will find the path to lasting joy.

Some people believe that happiness is meant only for others, or that it comes and goes with the whims of fate. But happiness is more a function of choice than circumstance. Fleeting indeed is the happiness that relies on external factors, but the happiness that comes from within can be maintained even on the coldest, darkest, loneliest day. Many people choose to indulge in sugar-coated delights that quickly turn bitter, but true happiness comes from determination, steadiness and faith.

Happiness is a hard battle, but it's one worth fighting, and you will never have to fight it alone. God wants you to have real and lasting joy in this world and the next. It's the reason He created you.

With love,

Daddy

A Faith-filled Life

My daughter,

I want to assure you of four great truths about God. First, He is real. Many deny His existence because they can't see Him, but they're simply not looking hard enough. God's presence constantly surrounds you, everywhere you go. You can see Him in a sunset, in the smiling face of a child, and even in the midst of darkness. Others deny Him because they reason that if God really existed then the world would be a better place. But that isn't a reason to stop believing; it's a reason to take action. Instead of waiting for God to change the world, recognize that He sent YOU here for that very purpose. A small act of faith can make an enormous difference in someone's life, and light begets light. As one heart changes, others will change and the world will be made new.

Second, God loves you and cares about every detail of your life, the same way you care about everything that happens to the people you truly love. He knows what is best for you and wants you to be happy, and His still small voice can guide your actions and decisions. He speaks to everyone, but not everyone listens. You can hear Him in quiet moments by taking time to pause and think of Him. He can also speak to you through scriptures and songs and the inspired words and deeds of others who hear His voice and reflect His light.

Third, God will never abandon you, no matter how far you wander or how long you are gone. His love is unconditional. You didn't have to do anything to earn it, and you can't do anything to lose it. He will always welcome you home with open arms, and the angels will rejoice at your return. His ways are better than yours, and by surrendering to Him in all things you will find the kind of peace that can never be taken from you without your permission.

Fourth, you need God in every moment of your life. Relying on yourself alone is the worst and most arrogant kind of folly. He is not just your fair-weather friend, to be trusted and worshiped only when things are going well. Nor is He your foul-weather friend, to be turned to only when you are in need of rescue and abandoned or ignored as soon as the immediate danger has passed. He is your eternal friend, He is your biggest fan, He always has time for you, and you will always be happier when you make time for Him.

Faith—real faith—is worth fighting for. Accept no substitutes.

With love,

Daddy

The Power of Prayer

My daughter,

As soon as you were able to speak, your mother and I taught you how to pray. For years I knelt at your bedside each night as you communed with God, and I still remember those nights with fondness. It was always such a comfort to hear you talk with your Creator.

Prayer is a way to align your will with God's and to better understand His plan for you. It gives you an opportunity to place your life and decisions in His capable hands. The greatest gift He has given you is the ability to choose for yourself, and when you choose to come to Him in humble prayer it will strengthen your faith in His loving care.

Prayer is both an act of expression and a gateway to communion. There is as much value in listening as in speaking, and a heartfelt prayer will always be answered with loving tenderness. God knows what you need before you ask Him. But when you pray, you give Him permission to intervene in your life and to send down power from heaven to comfort and guide and bless and protect you.

There will be times in your life, perhaps, when you will pray only out of a sense of duty or habit. There will be other times when you will use prayer as a crutch for your weary soul to rest upon. And there will be times when you won't feel like praying at all. But when you pray in faith, no matter how you are feeling, it will help you turn your heart back to God and allow Him to gently and lovingly cover you with power. As you pray you will hear the quiet whispers of your Heavenly Father's voice while He answers you in the way that He feels is best. You can trust in His wisdom completely.

There are prayers of sorrow, prayers of regret, and prayers of gratitude and hope. You can be certain that your Father in Heaven hears them all and will bless you for your faithfulness.

With love,

Daddy

Walking Through Fire

My daughter,

There may be times when you fear the difficulties and challenges the future might bring, and I want to reassure you that God will carry you through your trials in the future as He has in the past. Remember that a future filled with infinite possibilities for sorrow and difficulty is also filled with infinite possibilities for joy and progress. When you give God your fears, insecurities and worries, He will reward you with faith and confidence.

At times you may find yourself praying to avoid trials, and at times those prayers will be answered. At times you may find yourself praying for a quick end to trials, and at times those prayers will be answered, too. But sometimes your prayers will not be answered in the way that you expect, and your faith will grow as a result.

Faith depends more on the convictions of the heart than on the events of life. When you put your trust in an unchangeable omnipotent being who loves you more than you can possibly comprehend, you can walk through fire and come out on the other side unshaken.

You will always matter to God. Though He may not give you what you want, He will always give you what you need.

With love,

Daddy

Saying Goodbye

My daughter,

The death of a loved one is one of the greatest trials anyone can experience in this world. When such a loss occurs, you may find yourself focusing entirely on what you will be living without. But eventually the sun will rise on your grief, and you will be grateful for the time you were privileged to spend with that person, no matter how brief.

Without love, your greatest losses would be mere inconveniences. But without love, you would cease to be you. It is better to love and to experience grief than to live without love.

It is natural to feel regret when losing a loved one, and it's normal to wonder if you could have said or done more to express the feelings you will always have in your heart for that person. But do not dwell on the words "if only." Your continuing love pierces the veil separating this world from the next. Your loved ones who have moved on to the next stage in their eternal development know how you feel about them, and their love for you remains intact.

Death is not the end. It is simply a new beginning, and someday the two of you will be reunited. Everything that has been taken from you will be restored a hundred fold and more in the life to come.

Do not blame God for your losses, for His wisdom is perfect. Rather, be grateful to Him for giving you someone so worth loving in the first place, and know that once a person becomes a part of you, you can never really be without that person again.

With love,

Daddy

Love

My daughter,

The word "love" can mean many things, and what some call love isn't really love at all. But to me it means only one thing: an unconditional desire to do everything in one's power to bring about the happiness and well-being of another person. I have always felt this kind of love for you, and I always will.

Without friendship and understanding, romance cannot satisfy for long. When the passion cools, as it inevitably will, the embers that remain must be bright enough to endure the fiery trials of everyday life. This is essential, because real love is the greatest human need. Without food and water the body may die, but without love the soul withers.

Love by its very nature can only be given, never taken. Your capacity for love is infinite, and if you listen to your heart you will feel a desire to perform acts of kindness that will ripple forever in eternity. This is the purpose for which God, who is the source of all love, created you. When you are filled with compassion for others, you are becoming what He wants you to become.

In the midst of the star-studded heavens there is a polar star around which all others appear to revolve. Fixed and unchanging, it is a beacon in the night, an anchor in an ocean of chaos, a source of strength for the weary traveler and a guiding light for the wayward soul. It is the North Star, and it is a metaphor for love.

Love is the joy for which all souls long, the healing balm without which so many would be forever lost. It is the starving man giving his last piece of bread to one in greater need, the mother comforting her infant son. It is the innocent man laying down his life for his friends, the woman reaching out with compassion to help a lost traveler find his way home, the husband and wife reconciling their many differences. It is the only hope for peace in this world, the only salve for a broken heart.

To choose to live without love—for it is always a choice—and find it again is to return home, to once again feel the rain falling on the drought-hardened soil, to finally satisfy a burning thirst.

Life is patterned after the heavens: darkness and difficulty interspersed with the ever-present glowing lights of joy, at the center of which is a being whose name is Love. When every day is a struggle, when the world is at its bleakest, Love offers the strength and hope to press forward, to be guided by the stars with every step we take, until the darkness is only a memory and the dawn of eternity begins.

With love,

Daddy